Accepting I am an addict and what it means to be an addict is the first thing I have to do each morning. In reminding myself of that I can plan to live my life the way I want, not be trapped by my addictions. I am not like everybody else, I have to accept I can’t eat or drink like everybody else.
I believe life is a journey – not just about who I am today or what I own but about what I have learnt along the way. In seeing my lessons I need to accept what life has given me. When I battle with my present, I am often battling with my past.
For me, in every area of my life that I have faced fear, acceptance has been the beginning of my healing. As I was processing what it meant for me to be in menopause, unable to have children, I was unable to accept some of the decisions that had got me there; relationships with addicts, fear of parenting a child with another addict.
My biggest pain was wondering who I would be if I was never going to be a mother. As I have slowly come to accept that I am many things, employee, sister, aunt and friend, I have come to see that this one element of my life doesn’t have to completely change who I am. I also know my HP has a bigger plan for me, that I just need to be patient and let it unfold. I have found a fuller acceptance of my life.
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