Last week I spent two full days in a meeting with a group
of people. If you’re anything like me, you’ll understand how tough that is.
I’ve spent the days watching what others are eating. The
snacks and treats people consume when they are stuck in a room for days. I’ve spent the day handing over to my HP my
food places, asking for relief from obsession.
I’ve thought a number of times I could ‘get away’ with
eating just that little thing extra; trying to convince myself I’m like normal
eaters.
Thankfully I was looked after. I’ve remembered that my
best thoughts aren’t necessarily the best idea for me nor my HPs will for
me. I’ve been able to ignore the
thoughts and not act on them. There was a little extra eaten at lunch but it
was generally ok.
Food doesn’t make things ok. Food won’t make me feel
closer to others. Food won’t give me a boost of energy or a feeling of comfort
when I am feeling discomfort. Food doesn’t help me to think clearer, be more
decisive or confident in my decisions.
In fact, overeating makes all those things impossible.
I am trying to learn to take life on life terms; to
embrace my individuality, to accept my powerless over food as well as my
powerlessness over people, places and things including my inbox.
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