Living my life on the path

I have been thinking about the meaning of my life lately and in doing so I have heard myself say a number of times 'I am on the road named recovery'.  I think it is important that I challenge myself about what that really means, and whether it is true or whether it is just another fantasy I have about who I am.

To me, living a life in recovery means:

1. Having a relationship with a higher power - however I am defining that for the day.  It doesn't matter what my HP; just as long as it is outside me
2. Living the values of the program in all my affairs
3. Having a recovery plan - food plan, meetings schedule, sponsor, sponsoree, structure to my steps
4. Following that plan
5. Working the steps daily - especially steps 3, 10, 11 and 12
6. Monitoring where my behaviour is falling out of step with the values of the program
7. Being open to my higher power's will for me
8. Having an honest view of my behaviour and taking action where I need to; handing things over to my HP, saying sorry, acknowledging to others, accepting what I can not change.

I get my understanding of the values of the program through the steps, traditions and principles of the program, reading for understanding and talking to others to have clarity around my thoughts.

Looking at that list I feel overwhelmed and inadequate.  My first reaction to whip myself; I am not doing lots of those things. On a daily basis my life doesn't look that good.  But then I remember lines from the big book 'no one among us has been able to manage perfect adherence... we are not saints... the point is that we are willing to grow.  The principles set down are guides to progress. Progress not perfection..

I feel the hope of the promises and I see the value in believing I am on a path - and that I am following the guides to my own personal emotional and spiritual progress.