I used to fantasise about the freedom to eat what I wanted with no physical consequences. I wanted to have complete freedom to eat whenever and whatever I wanted, and in any quantities I wanted.Slowly in recovery I’ve realised that there is no freedom in out of control eating.
Today I am grateful for the freedom that comes with having a clear mind, untainted by the numbing and distortion of excess food. In the fog of food I can not think clearly, logically and rationally. I have no room for creativity and I miss the little details and lose sight of the big picture.
Today I am grateful for the freedom that comes from 3 meals a day – I do not have to be constantly calculating what I’ve already eaten for the day or what I want to eat later on, count the calories of the day. Today I am grateful that the discipline of eating within a food plan keeps me away from the physical obsession that eating whatever I want brings.
Today I am thankful that I can not eat whatever I want. The physical side effects of ensure that I keep coming back – and that I get to be a little saner every day.
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