I'm binging on anger at the moment, an old self-righteous expression of anger that I thought I'd long left behind. I know that anger is a indulgence I can't afford - it leads me back to the food most times, erodes my self-esteem and stands between me and my HP. I'm a little shocked and disheartened about how long it is hanging around as I have been angry for over a week. It's a long time since I have stayed in an anger binge for so long and if I am honest, I thought I'd grown beyond such behaviour.Luckily program has given me lots of ways to honestly look at what is going on and what I need to do to move through it. Some good things for me to do when I am angry are:
- Ask for help - from my sponsor, from other people in fellowship, from my HP. Listening to other people's experience, strength and hope can't help but leave me with some hope
- Dig out any fears that might be hiding under my anger
- Give it to my HP
- Make a Gratitude List
- Pray the resentment prayer for those I am angry and resentful at - page 67 of the Big Book
- Read page 417 of the Big Book - acceptance is the answer to all my problems.
- Reaffirm what I am powerless over - people, places, things.... but that I am not helpless
- Step 10 review of my part in it
- Take it through Steps 1-3 (I can't, God can, I think I'll let God), 6 & 7 (real humility about my character defects imply acceptance)
- Write it out - long lists of who & what I am angry at
- Write a gratitude list
What have I missed, what other program actions should I be taking? I always find it hard to determine which one to use when, but if I work through this list I know I will eventually find relief.
Experience has shown me that like most things my anger will pass, not necessarily in my time but, when it is right for me. I know my HP always knows what is right for me.HP help me see what you are trying to teach me at the moment.
In the meantime, I'm........
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