As usual my HP has better plans for me than I do, and today is no different. I do not have to go to work today so I have the space to do what I need to do to live a recovered life.
I just re-read my Today post - and most of all it struck me that I need to have a recovery plan. Why is it that I constantly forget to plan for recovery? I am so grateful for everything recovery has given me, but act like an entitled teenager who refuses to put in any effort to to be part of the recovery family.
I have just drafted up my recovery plan today & it feels lovely to know I am looking after myself. I never realised what a high maintenance girl I was, I always thought those definitions were for women who spent hours on their nails, make-up and hair. It seems my HP would have me spending hours on my spirit, emotional well-being and physical health. I feel blessed to be open to such a notion and just for today I will have and live such a recovery plan.
I continue to be over-emotional, crying at any newspaper story or TV program that hints at tragedy. I am handing that over to my HP today, clearly there is some reason why I am feeling (or over-feeling) my feelings like that today. Today I am willing to live a higher powered life, where I don't think I am in charge of anything. We are getting our Visa statements signed by a solicitor today, meaning our visa will be in the mail tomorrow or Wednesday and my fears about our future will be swirling all around me until we hear from IMMI, probably in 6 weeks. I know I am not in charge, all I can do is the ground-work and leave the rest to my HP and the universe.
It is a dreary day here in Yorkshire, for which I am thankful. There is no tug to be outside and taking snaps; I can do my chores without one eye to a blue sky and fantasies of what a beautiful backdrop it is to the blossoms. I can happily work on my other recovery today plan; listening to podcasts from LA OA intergroup, return a call of a OA member, cook myself 2 abstinent and tasty meals, read some of my program list and do some action around my fears and spend some quite time listening to my HPs will for me.
Today I will allow myself to be higher powered, not me powered.
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